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In the middle of a bad divorce but still intimate with my ex?

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Ask DeannaAsk Deanna! Is an advice column known for its fearless approach to reality-based subjects!

Dear Deanna!
In the middle of a bad divorce and I’m still intimate with my ex-husband.  Although we didn’t get along, couldn’t build a life or raise our family together, we were able to bond physically.  The reason we’re divorcing is due to outside affairs with other people, financial problems and marrying too soon.  I want to move on with my life but for some reason, manage to keep this part of the relationship going.  Am I wrong for doing this?
Worried Divorcee,  Atlanta , GA 

Dear Worried:
Sex is the fuel for a relationship and not the glue.  If you’re divorcing your husband, you need to immediately cut all physical ties.  You’re short changing yourself by giving him your body because it’s obvious he didn’t respect you as a wife and won’t respect you as a homey lover friend.  Learn from your mistakes and if you must have a man, be a better judge of character and find one that will respect you more than your husband and keep it moving. 

Dear Deanna!
My girlfriend is a woman with a cute face but she’s voluptuous and doesn’t understand that all fashions aren’t suitable for her.  I love her and think she looks good in most things but not everything.  It’s hard for me in public when people stare at her or snicker and make rude remarks.  When I address this issue we argue.  Please give me some options because I’m tired of being embarrassed and my suggestions aren’t working?
Matthew, Boston , MA

Dear Matthew:
Your partner has a mental problem because she probably has a size 18 shape with a size 5 outlook.  This is not cute and you need to offer Jenny Craig or a shopping spree.  If she still refuses then you need to flip the script and approach her weight issue from a health perspective and encourage her to lose weight.  If not, just be there because her feelings will get hurt really good one day if she still insists on walking around looking like a sausage. 

Dear Deanna:
My sister listens to music that is vulgar and explicit.  She listens to any type music and doesn’t care that she’s exposing her children to adult lyrics and content.  Her children are now beginning to repeat the lyrics and she gets upset and shouts at them.  She can’t see that they’re simply repeating and singing the songs.  Other than turning off her music, what other options are there?
Anonymous,  Seattle , WA 

Dear Anonymous:
Your sister is ignorant and using bad judgment on this simple common sense issue.  Obviously she’s not a rocket scientist and should see her kids are imitating art.  In this case, the bad art of explicit lyrics.  Write the lyrics to some of her music and give it to her on a sheet of paper.  When she looks at this mess in black and white, perhaps she’ll have a change of heart and be more of an adult when it comes to what she listens to around her children.

Ask Deanna is written by Deanna M.  
Write Ask Deanna! Email: or write:  
Deanna M, 264 S. La Cienega, Suite 1283 , Beverly Hills , CA 90211


Written by peoplesvoiceweekly

October 31, 2008 at 4:56 pm

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